Week 47: The Pavilion

Happy fall, y’all!

We love shopping at Megapaca (aka Guatemalan DI) and taking a selfie with the temple!

I know we’ve still got a couple of weeks before the Autumn Equinox passes, but September does not have the vibe of a summer month in the slightest. Because I’m always in school by the time we’ve reached that point. Or on a mission.

Here we are with San Carlos Sija and the Sister Training Leaders (wow I love them)

This week was admittedly stressful. We had a couple of pretty big emergencies on the medical side of things (that I won't get into for confidentiality and it’s-really-gross reasons), and it’s been hard, because Hermana González really wants me to take a bigger part in some of the nursing responsibilities. I do, too, but there’s a huge lack of language mastery, and I haven’t been able to effectively communicate with the Spanish-speaking missionaries when something is going on. They normally just ask me to pass the phone to Hermana González, which is #embarrassing.

These flip-flops had me cackling for what I think are obvious reasons.

Our last comp inventory was about that, because, whether I like it or not, I’m going to have to fulfill this responsibility without Hermana González in about seven weeks. I’ll have another companion to support me, but she probably won’t know as much English for me to use as a crutch if I need to explain something, and she won’t have as much experience as I do. It’s hard, because it’s not as if I can set aside hours on end to study medicine and its specialized vocabulary. I’m a whole missionary on top of everything. I came to realize, as we were talking, that there simply was not a catch-all solution. We can’t magically have the calling be easier, or for me to perfect conversational Spanish overnight. Life just doesn’t work like that.

Xela Centro all together (the most ambitious crossover of all time)

We had Zone Conference this week, and one of the things we did was watch a virtual tour of the Nauvoo Temple and Carthage Jail. When I think about Joseph Smith’s martyrdom, and all of the trials of the early Saints, I can only imagine how overwhelmed and stressed and abandoned they felt. I think that the beginning of Section 121 in Doctrine and Covenants is pretty well-known, but I love it:

1 O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?

It is very easy to feel alone. Each person is so uniquely themselves. There is no one like you. But within the beauty with that truth, there’s an integral challenge our souls experience. No one is like you. No one has lived your life. No one has experienced what you’ve gone through. It is impossible for anyone to truly know and to understand your pain, your suffering, and your complete story.

That’s why I think it's so amazing that the Atonement of Jesus Christ exists. He experienced complete loneliness, and was forsaken so that we never have to be (Matthew 27:46). He is a perfect person with perfect empathy. What he sacrificed is infinite and all-encompassing. It is the pavilion. And it covers what the early Saints experienced. It covers hate and persecution in all its forms. It covers stubbing your toe as you’re walking up the stairs. It covers that embarrassment when you forgot to do the math homework. It covers the tears and heartache of a broken relationship. It covers everything that I lack.

What I learned is that I am not suddenly going to turn into the person I want to be. I don’t think I’ll ever quite get there, in my mission, or in my life. But I realized that if I “trust in the Lord with all [my] heart; and lean not unto [my] own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5), everything really will be OK. As I’ve focused on the small things, like reading my scriptures, and making my bed, and talking to everyone I pass on the street, my burdens become so much lighter. They’re still real, but I’m not alone in them. I never was.

— Have a great week!

Hermana Newton

Week 46: Paciencia y Fe

Hello, friends!

San Martín gang rise up (ft. Mr. Worldwide — if you know, you know)

And welcome to another email! This week literally feels like it barely even happened, so I’m pretty surprised that it’s already Saturday, to be quite honest with you.

This photo isn’t high-quality, but President Roden was taking the other picture and I wanted to include him.

We actually spent time in the office this week! A lot of time. We had to drop in to pay for medication, attend meetings, do presentations, prepare for a mountain of missionaries who will be arriving this next transfer, and have interviews with President Roden. Actually, interviews with President Roden are in the mission home, but if you’re making the trip (I say as if a 20-minute walk were equivalent to the pioneer trek of the 1840s), you’ll often also have something to do at the offices.

Hermana González and I have been scouring the clovers here since day one, and she finally spotted a trébol de cuatro hojas!

One of our many office events was a program called Four Week. It’s basically when all the trainers and their greenies come in to test what they’ve learned in these first four weeks of the mission. Hermana González had the Christlike Attributes station, and I had Area Book. Probably bc no one wants the Area Book station (just kidding I love Area Book haha). Hermana González found a four-leaf clover, which is one of the hypest things I’ve seen happen. Later that day, a bird pooped on me, which is one of my greatest fears. Hermana insisted that this is also a sign of good luck, but I think that’s just perpetuated by people who have gotten pooped on by birds and need to feel better after a traumatic experience.

Just me waiting to test people’s Area Book knowledge.

We aren’t teaching too many people right now, and we weren’t in the area enough to do much finding, but that’s what the next week is always for, right? Even though next week will also be busy because we have zone conference. …

The APs dropped off something to us at Parque Calvario, and they were just sitting on that fountain all movie-like.

I sometimes wonder why it’s so hard to find people to teach, even in the weeks when we’re not in the office most of the time. I understand that not everybody is interested in the message of the Gospel, but every now and then you think about how nice it would be if people who wanted to listen would just appear. I like this verse from Alma 38, where Alma is giving counsel to his son Shiblon:

4 For I know that thou wast in bonds; yea, and I also know that thou wast stoned for the word’s sake; and thou didst bear all these things with patience because the Lord was with thee.

No one has stoned me in Calvario. They’ve just glared at me, walked away silently, or even waggled a finger to say “no’ (shoutout to that lady because that might have been the funniest moment of my life). But rejection is hard! I’m really happy, though, and I think that a lot of the reason is because of the second half of the verse. I know that the Lord is with me.

We have daily zone calls in Xela Centro, and I won’t pretend San Carlos Sijo aren’t my favorite companionship.

I’ve been thinking about patience a lot this week. Why miracles don’t happen when we’d like them to, when prayers aren’t answered how we’d envisioned, when our imperfections don’t simply vanish, no matter how much we pray and work and hope for them to go away.

In then-President Dieter F. Uchtdorf’s talk “Continue in Patience” from April 2010, he teaches such profoundly good lessons, but I especially love this quote.

“Patience [is] far more than simply waiting for something to happen—patience require[s] actively working toward worthwhile goals and not getting discouraged when results [don't] appear instantly or without effort.”

Patience is active! It is not sitting around passively. It’s not just this intrinsic thing you do or don’t have. Like all things in the Gospel, it is something you can exercise and work on obtaining! And that’s why we wait. So we learn to do more, and to be more, and to actually try when we desire something. It helps us do and be better. Patience allows us to become more like Jesus Christ.

The michis that live with Hermana Irma (our landlady) and, by extension, us! Meet Biden, Bidina, Buddy and Boris.

I love you all, and I patiently look forward to the day I get to see you again! To talk, to laugh, to enjoy each other’s company. You’re all amazing, and I hope you have a great rest of your week.

— Best wishes!

Hermana Newton

Week 45: Before the Flood

Welcome back to another weekly!

You can always count on your comp to catch you at your finest moments.

It was definitely a rollercoaster of experiences. We had lots of lessons, encountered people who were at the very least interesting (shoutout to the drunk guys who stopped their other drunk friend from driving — true heroes; negative shoutout to the drunk guy we heard puking behind us on the way to a lesson), successfully baked brownies in our toaster oven, and, notably, were flung about by the forces of nature.

We love a good mural!

Basically, it’s very rainy here in Xela. For my first transfer, it was pretty dry, but these last couple of weeks have had some crazy downpours. This week was a perpetual case of buckets, followed by sunny skies, followed by more buckets. The sunny skies element is key, though. Basically, every day, we’d be getting ready to go out, and it would be ridiculously warm. I’m sure it’s not actually super hot, but I’ve gotten used to the temperate climate, so subjectively, it is. And because of that, cumbersome rain jackets are not comfortable. Which means that we’d bring an umbrella, but not a rain jacket. And then, during the course of the day, the rain would come, and it would not hold back any punches. On Tuesday specifically, we got absolutely drenched. You see, we were walking to visit a member referral — Hermana Villatoro’s mom. So it was a pretty big deal. It started raining, and we were like, “Maybe we should go home and visit another day,” but then Hermana Gonzalez reminded me of something I say all the time, which is, “No effort is wasted,” and with that inspirational quote and our meager umbrella in hand, off we went. We kind of looked like stray dogs standing in front of that door, but it was a really good conversation and experience! And after, we were able to go home and change into dry clothes, so all’s well that ends well.

Here I am with a brownie (full pan not pictured; we were ravenous).

Tempests are commonly talked about in the gospel. They’re full of some pretty nice metaphors. I think what I’ve learned from the ones I’ve been in this week is that we sometimes handle them imperfectly. We shrug off the things that will ultimately make us happier because of the more immediate gratification of an easier way. But that doesn’t change the reality that the trial will come. And it also doesn’t detract from the good you have done. A little pink umbrella is so much better than nothing at all. And of course, keep in mind what Helaman 5 says:

12 And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.

A lot of things in life are hard. I think that goes without saying. But trials do not mean you can't find calm. My mission has been chock-full of discomfort. A lot of tears, a lot of fears, a lot of growing pains. But it has also been a time where I have gained genuine peace. I am so grateful for what this adventure has taught me, and I’m grateful for the storms. After all, it’s the water that makes us grow.

— As always,

Hermana Newton

Week 44: Want vs. Will

Happy Saturday the 14th! 

I know that’s not really a thing, but I didn’t write on Friday the 13th, and I figured I could make it a thing. Just to be a trendsetter. We’ll see how it plays once your responses start rolling in.

I love this poster outside the stadium so much.

As I’ve said in two previous email subject lines, what kind of week has it been? Well, my beloved brothers and sisters, a truly wilding one. Let me break it down for you.

So Gloria and Manuel, the couple we’ve been teaching, have been doing super well, when suddenly their phone number stopped working. They had given us a vague address, but they hadn’t given us their exact address, and all of our lessons were in the church. We were pretty lost as to what to do. Thankfully, we knew where Manuel worked, so we went over to the restaurant at dinner and asked if he was working. The waiter came back and told us that Manuel had straight-up disappeared. We were like, that’s not bueno. Finally, Gloria responded on WhatsApp, and it turns out that they’re spending some time on the coast. We’ll see what happens with them.

Amazingly enough, we found another family to teach! Jesús, Sandi, and their little 3-year-old, Lisbet. They are progressing really well. They just moved to Xela, and they have a lot of trials they’re going through, but their faith is so remarkable. That family reminds me why I love being a missionary every time I talk to them.

Intercambios were super fun! (Also taking over an area in a place where you can’t rely on Google Maps)

I was able to go on exchanges with the lovely Hermana Ramírez! She’s so fun, and she was very patient with me when I had to slowly tell all of my silly stories in Spanish. Hermana González is very good at understanding English, and so I’m often able to rely on that to explain more complex things. It was not the case with Hermana Ramírez. But we were still able to do the work and have fun.

Still confused about the Korean-Guatemalan connection I didn't know existed until I came here.

These last few days, Hermana González and I have been hitting the streets hard. Our mission has standards of excellence in different categories. They’re basically weekly expectations. We’re asked to have 10 effective contacts a day. That means you have the person’s name and number and/or address. The entire time we’ve been together, Hermana González and I have had to work really hard to meet this, and most days, we don’t. But our focus changed to talking to everyone, and suddenly, the game changed. In the last two days, we’ve had 40 contacts, which is over half of what we’re asked to reach weekly. I can’t really explain the change that I’ve felt in myself because of this. Not in having a number that’s higher than normal, but in the shift in perspective. Every goal we set in finding really comes down to us reaching out and offering what we have to all of God’s children here. We’re still not perfect, but we’re trying our best, and it turns out that it’s a lot more than we realized.

Who knew we were so global?

The people we talk to have wants, too. They want a happy family, a good education, a relationship with God. And Hermana González and I have always wanted to reach the standards of excellence. But the difference in this week was that we actually did something about it.

One of my favorite scriptures is in section 4 of Doctrine and Covenants (the missionary section, haha). It reads:

3 Therefore, if ye have desires to serve God ye are called to the work.

I am most definitely not a perfect person, and I’m an equally imperfect missionary. But I have found a desire to share the gospel, over and over again on the mission, and each time I rediscover it, the more my joy grows. I’m thankful for that joy, and I’m thankful that I get to have more as I cultivate and work for it, one footstep at a time.

— Sharing that joy with you,

Hermana Newton

Week 43: On the Prize

Hello, August!

Both of us forgetting to bring an umbrella and getting absolutely drenched while street contacting.

Today officially marks 10 months!!! That is both exciting and completely terrifying. How is it that I’ve been a missionary for so long that I’ve entered the double digits in months? I have no clue what’s going to happen in my brain when I hit a year.

The Real Deal (pronounced “Ray-all Day-all”; merch from Real Salt Lake, Utah’s Major League Soccer franchise, in a Xela shop)

This week has been hard and wonderful. Cesar is doing well, and so are Gloria and Manuel. When we taught the Restoration this week, Manuel was paying such close attention as we were explaining, and it was very tender, because during our chapel tour, he had been busy taking care of their little boy, Angel, so he wasn’t following as well as Gloria had. Going into that lesson, we were concerned that he wasn’t as interested, but he definitely is!

All of these absolute units at our special zone council (which was super fun)!

The real big deal, though, was the mission tour we had with Elder Brian K. Taylor. Let me just say, his wife, Jill, is an absolute unit. So is Elder Taylor, but seriously. Jill was slaying the game.

Elder and Sister Taylor were basically covering the missionary purpose, which is finding, teaching and baptizing. We focused a lot on finding, which was an interesting shift for me. In the TNM, we were sort of finding machines who needed to be reminded about the teaching and baptizing all the time. But as part of the discussion on finding, they talked about the importance of member referrals, and their thoughts and concepts were super refreshing!

Then, Elder and Sister Taylor invited us to contact 50 members for referrals using what they had taught. Which is a lot of people. And I’m not gonna lie, it was really hard. Especially when Hermana González and I didn't come close to reaching the goal. There were a lot of reasons (us having a lot of lessons that day, nurse responsibilities, not getting the member list, sharing a ward with the APs* and them not telling us which members they’d already contacted until super late in the day), but I ended up feeling absolutely defeated. Because we worked our tails off and reached out to around 80 members, and only 25 of them responded. There are those days when you thrust your sickle in and do everything you possibly can, and it feels like your effort was wasted.

But when I look back on this week, there were literally so many miracles. Setting people on date for baptism, the people we found and talked to, the members who actually answered us and were so grateful to have us talking to them, and the referrals they gave. This week was full of Heavenly Father’s blessings. And they weren’t one specific number of members answering our calls and texts. Because they didn’t have to be.

Doctrine and Covenants 8 says:

8 Therefore, doubt not, for it is the gift of God; and you shall hold it in your hands, and do marvelous works; and no power shall be able to take it away out of your hands, for it is the work of God.

I am still remarkably bad at goal-setting. But I’ve learned a lot about it on the mission. And they have a lot more to do with us working toward who we want to become than the number in question. Because becoming perfected isn’t a quantifiable thing. And if we want to become like Christ, we need to make sure there’s room for Him in His work. Elder and Sister Taylor weren’t asking us to set a goal to talk to 50 members because passing that marker would magically make us worthy of entering the Celestial Kingdom. It was about raising our vision to the possibilities. Things will go imperfectly. They always will. But, if you’re looking for it, you’ll always find Him helping you out, somewhere along the way. Even if it isn’t where you expected.

— Keeping my eyes open,

 Hermana Newton

* assistants to the [mission] president

Week 42: Somebody Told Me

Happy Harry Potter Day!*

That’s right, I might be on a mission in a foreign country thousands of miles away from home, but I would never in my life forget that it’s my boy’s 41st birthday. Don’t worry, though, he’s not the subject of this email.

With our favorite secretaries (who are about to be replaced by old people)

Today is actually going to be pretty crazy, because we’re doing the orientation for the new missionaries. Both the greenies and some more North Americans who are getting shipped in. We’re also welcoming a senior couple, the Carpenters. This unfortunately means that Elder Juarez and Elder Herrera are leaving the office, and I am super sad about it because they’re the best! But it’s OK. As Céline Dion once said, my heart will go on.

RIP to my bestie who always talks to me in English :'( Hope he has fun being a branch president with his gringo!

This week we had some seriously good lessons, including a church tour! We had scheduled with this woman named Gloria, and were ready for her, and then she showed up with her husband, Manuel, and their adorable little boy! What? Straight-up just giving us her family to teach? That’s a pretty all-star move, if you ask me. Anyway, they’re the cutest, and Manuel’s boss is a member, which is the neatest little in.

We also had a really good time calling former investigators in our area book this week. I cannot stress how much I've grown to absolutely love formers. All you have to do is call a number, and 95 percent of the time you schedule another lesson, and it’s great and everyone is happy. I just think they’re so neat.

A little miracle I absolutely loved this week happened a couple of nights ago. We were at home, it was the end of the day, and we still had a good half-hour before it hit 9. We were trying so hard to think of who else we could call, because we’d either had lessons with our progressing people that day or they were busy that night. Hermana Gonzalez asked whom we should call, and then, out of nowhere, Alex popped into my mind.

Alex is someone we had found weeks ago and tried so hard to keep into contact with. We messaged him a lot, but he was pretty spotty about replying, and he never answered our calls. I’m pretty sure we’d called him a solid seven times. So from a logical standpoint, reaching out to Alex again made no sense.

But then Hermana Gonzalez suggested, “Hermano Alex?” We both laughed, but I told her I was thinking the same thing, and so then we called him, and he answered right away. We had a really good lesson with him, and the entire time, as we were sitting there talking to him, I just kept on thinking how much of a miracle it was. It may seem small, but for Alex’s life, this is huge. It was a reminder to me that we can never give up on people and that we should always, always listen to what the Spirit tells us. Even when there’s a little bit of doubt in our minds, or even when we think we’ve already done all we can. 1 Nephi 4 says:

1 Let us be faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord; for behold he is mightier than all the earth, then why not mightier than Laban and his fifty, yea, or even than his tens of thousands?

2 Therefore let us go up; let us be strong like unto Moses; for he truly spake unto the waters of the Red Sea and they divided hither and thither, and our fathers came through, out of captivity, on dry ground, and the armies of Pharaoh did follow and were drowned in the waters of the Red Sea.

3 ...wherefore can ye doubt? Let us go up; the Lord is able to deliver us, even as our fathers.

— Thanks for listening,

 Hermana Newton

* Harry Potter was born July 31, 1980.

3. Sometimes you run into things that aren't in your job description in the mission office.

Week 41: How Ye Ought

Hello to all!

Customary missionary in front of a church sign.

Can you believe it? As of today, I’ve been in Guatemala for an entire month! Which unfortunately means that my lack of time spent in a Spanish-speaking country is becoming less and less of an excuse. Not to worry, though. One month as compared to 20 years is actually 1/240 of my entire life experience.

Parque Central has some good photo ops (also lots of vendors who think I’m basically the Prince of Wales, but I’m just a Pauper)

Such a good week, but such a hard one! We had a lot of emergencies coming in on the medical side of things. There are a plethora of reasons I can’t really go into it, but I’ll leave it at the fifth case of appendicitis the mission has had in the past year, an ingrown toenail, and very mean family members somehow finding the nurse number and calling us.

Because of that, there wasn’t terribly much in the way of proselytizing this week because we simply did not have time! But Cesar is continuing to be an absolute champ whom we most definitely do not deserve. He prayed about the Book of Mormon and said he got a witness that it was true, and that this was Christ’s Church on the Earth today! And he told us that when we were just doing a follow-up call to set up another lesson with him. Seriously, absolutely an absolute unit.

The chapel really just has funky architecture sometimes.

We also had zone conference! It was very different, and very fun! Let me tell you, the stress I felt when Hermana Gonzalez and I had to go up as the nurses and address all of those missionaries in Spanish was palpable. As my stress often is. But we got through it, and we had some killer pupusas for lunch!

We love a zone conference selfie

My spiritual thought comes from something Hermana Gonzalez did this week. At the end of the day, we went to the panadería (Xelapan) to buy some bread and a few other treats. When we left the shop, Hermana Gonzalez just handed her bag of pastries to this woman and her son who were standing outside the shop selling chocolates. It was such a good Christlike example to me. Because Hermana Gonzalez didn’t make a big deal out of it. She didn’t wrestle with the decision of what to do. She just saw a need and gladly gave. No hesitation, no selfishness. Just charity.

There’s a BYU Speech I adore called “Healing Racism Through Jesus Christ” that I feel adds a lot to my understanding of charity. In it, Ryan Gabriel, Brigham Young University assistant professor of sociology, says:

“Do you believe that the main reason economic poverty is higher in some racial and ethnic groups compared to others is because of the notion that economically poorer groups do not value hard work? If so, I humbly invite you to notice where that line of thinking takes you. It might lead you to feel that the poor in these groups are not worthy of service because you perceive that they solely brought their economic condition upon themselves. Will you find joy in that belief? Will it lead you to love your neighbor as yourself? Does that perspective embody the commandment of the Lord that we ‘love one another, as [He has] loved [us]’?”

As King Benjamin said in Mosiah 4:

19 For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?

20 And behold, even at this time, ye have been calling on his name, and begging for a remission of your sins. And has he suffered that ye have begged in vain? Nay; he has poured out his Spirit upon you, and has caused that your hearts should be filled with joy, and has caused that your mouths should be stopped that ye could not find utterance, so exceedingly great was your joy.

21 And now, if God, who has created you, on whom you are dependent for your lives and for all that ye have and are, doth grant unto you whatsoever ye ask that is right, in faith, believing that ye shall receive, O then, how ye ought to impart of the substance that ye have one to another.

This could make up a whole other email, but the Gospel of Jesus Christ really is about humility. Recognizing the principle of not being better than others, but being truly equal to them, and living it. No one is perfect at it, but Hermana Gonzalez is impressively good at it. I hope to learn from and exemplify that powerful example she has given me.

—Thanks for all you give,

 Hermana Newton